Negotiating Conflict To Empower Confidence And Collaboration
Optical Illusions - Bull head or two birds.
Negotiating Conflicting Viewpoints
“No Two People See The Same Thing.” - Amy E Herman. This resonated deeply when I heard it the first time. The famous picture, an optical illusion, that depicts both a young woman wearing pearls and an old lady wearing a fur depending on one’s perspective comes to mind.
I started to reflect on conversations around me. A dear friend’s heartfelt confusion over her church-going friends proclaiming Christianity yet their view points and actions deeming non-Christian in her eyes! How can they not see that what they are saying and doing is very un-Christian!
“No two people see the same thing!” Clearly they don’t see, yet how can my friend claim that her view point is the correct Christian viewpoint? One see’s the old lady, and the other the young woman. Both see correctly, yet both clearly do not see the same thing!
I then started to recall a recent difference of view with my husband. The conversation started with a very broad general view and as I presented my position based on my values, I expected to hear words of agreement and validation of my perspective. Speaking very calmly in a soft voice, my husband had his own viewpoint that was indubitably in direct conflict with mine. I thought, okay, how can I reframe this so he understands and agrees with my perspective. Again, calmly my husband refuted with his own point of view. In my mind, at some point it became very important to me that he validate and agree with my view, triggering my emotions and causing me to become fixated on his seeing and agreeing with my view! I became oblivious to his viewpoint, as mine charged with emotion, eclipsed any ability to see his.
“No two people see the same thing!” These words chime in my head when looking back at past conversations with family, friends and colleagues. If I had let go of my perspective and applied Steven Covey’s (7 Habits of Highly Effective People) golden rule of “seek to understand before being understood”, I wonder how much of a wider view and perspective would have been afforded to me? The picture transforming into a comprehensive panoramic view combined with others perspectives. A view that promotes connection, collaboration and acceptance rather than conflict and disagreement.
To be able to see both the young woman and the old lady, ask yourself these questions to balance the emotional charge skewing your clarity:
💡 How important is it for people to see and agree with your view point?
💡 Is validating your viewpoint connected to your own self-confidence?
💡 Do you first seek to see other’s viewpoint?
💡 How do you decide whose perspective has the best viewpoint?
When your own perspective is not about validating your value and more about collaborating to create a comprehensive panoramic viewpoint you can exponentially empower confidence in yourself and your team.
Are you ready to collaborate to obtain panoramic views and achieve a higher vision of success?
